Don’t just give presents, Be Present!

June is a busy month in our household, apart from hitting the half year mark on the calendar, we have 2 birthdays; my husband and my son’s.  It’s thus also a very broke month in our household. But it is scary just how fast time passes, we’re already at the halfway mark for the year 2018. It does fly!

My brother-in-law also got married this June so we were rather preoccupied this year. But if you’re not mentally present, before you know it, it will be the festive season and the year would of passed and you’ll be throwing out comments like; “Where did the year go!?”, “The years are just flying by!”.  Sadly, that is the reality, time is just flashing forward. I will always remember something my neighbour used to say to me, “One of the signs of the Day of Judgement is that we will be fighting for time.” This was according to Islam but it always carried thorough for me in my life because I felt that it was so accurate. I did not understand it at first but as I grew older, it was a metaphor for life … we seem to be fighting for time as there is never enough of it in a day.

I suppose that we have become so consumed in our daily lives and all the work pressures that we don’t really switch off.  We no longer  follow the clock; work is no longer 9-5, it starts way earlier and ends way later. We do not divide our work and personal time accurately anymore. This is fine if you have goals and want to grow in certain aspects of your career but at what expense?  Have you consulted all in your life about your dedicated time preference?  We need to remember that when we have families and significant others, that our time is no longer just ours.

Time is really a commodity, it is something that there is never enough of, yet ironically at the same time, it is societal constraint. Although we are controlled by time, you have the ability to be the time keeper. My husband and I made the decision to be more present at special occasions, birthdays being one of them. The marker of the day that you were born should be celebrated, and this is what we as a family decided to do. There doesn’t have to be presents but if your loved ones are truly present that is a gift in itself. And by truly present, I mean that we need to not only be physically present but mentally as well. If we are not, then the moment will pass and that is something you cannot get back.

When my daughter was born, I got so consumed with doing everything, constantly keeping others top of mind, like needing to have a Sip and See. I was trying to do as much as I could to treasure the moments that I was actually missing them. My mind was so preoccupied with all I wanted to do that I wasn’t mentally present and I was totally missing out. It was my sister who told me to stop and just enjoy the time with my new born baby because I would regret having lost the time with her, time I could never get back.

Being more mentally present is a conscious decision and may not be as easy as it seems. It does take effort but it really is worth it. To be present in the moment is to capture and contain time.